Even though conversations about racism and discrimination will look different in every family, science agrees: the earlier parents start the conversation with their children, the better.
Babies as young as 6 months perceive physical differences, including skin colour. Studies have shown that children as young as 5 years old can show signs of racial bias, for example by treating people of a certain ethnic group better than others. Ignoring or avoiding the issue does not protect children, but exposes them to the prejudices that exist everywhere we live. Children who face racism can feel lost trying to understand why they are treated in a certain way, which in turn can affect their long-term development and well-being.
Being silent is no option.
Children's understanding of the world develops as they get older, but it is not too late to talk to them about equality and racism. The appropriate way to start a communication strongly depends on the age of the child.
Children under the age of 5 begin to recognise and name differences between the people around them. As a parent, you have the opportunity to carefully lay the foundation for your worldview. Use age-appropriate language that the child can easily understand. Therefore, it is important to recognise and appreciate differences that the child may ask about. Focus on openness, fairness and explaining uniqueness.
It is not important to have all the answers, but to let the children know that you are open and fair.
Children aged six to eleven are better able to talk about their feelings and are eager for answers. They are also exposed to an increasing amount of information that they may find difficult to process. Start to understand what you know. Talking together about their main sources of information and media helps to uncover racial prejudices and stereotypes. Honest and open discussions about racism, diversity and inclusion build trust with your children.
Teenagers are better able to understand abstract concepts and express their opinions. They may know more than they think and have strong feelings about the subject. Be clear about how they feel and what they know and keep the conversation going. At this age, you can already encourage action and participation in online activism to respond to and address racist issues.
Regardless of your child's age, it is important to celebrate diversity. Imagine bringing your child into contact with different cultures and people of different races and ethnicities. Such positive interactions with other races and social groups help to reduce prejudice and foster inter-group friendships from an early age.
Be aware of racial prejudice in books and films and look for films that portray people of different racial and ethnic groups in different roles. Consider stories in which minority actors play complex or leading roles. This can do a lot to counter racist and discriminatory stereotypes.
Explore the past together to better understand the present. Historical events such as the end of apartheid in South Africa, the civil rights movement in the United States and other equality movements around the world are symbols of a traumatic past from which societies are still recovering. Understanding them together can show us how far we have come and how much we still have to do. These experiences can help your children develop self-confidence and openness to other perspectives.
You are the example your child follows. What children see their parents do is as important as what they hear them say.
Like language, prejudices are learned over time. When helping those around you to recognise and combat racial prejudice, think of your own first. Take every opportunity to speak out against racism, show kindness and stand up for the right of all people to be treated with dignity and respect.
Children are our future. Help them decide to go a peaceful and respectful way.